Moretown School Update October 11, 2016

Moretown School Community

Dear Moretown School Community,

It is with great sadness that we inform you of the death of two of our former students, Mary Harris and Cyrus Zschau.  Both were juniors at Harwood Union High School and lived in our village.  They will be dearly missed by all who knew them.

The Moretown staff met on Monday to discuss how best to support our students across the grades. We have decided to begin our day tomorrow with an opportunity for students to ask questions and express what they are thinking and feeling in a way that is developmentally appropriate. In responding to what students bring up, we will not focus on the details of the tragedy but on the impact it has had on our lives and community.  Afterward our goal will be to maintain normalcy in our school day as this will support students with a sense of security and safety.

This loss may cause some students to remember previous losses in their lives. They may think about a death in their own family, for example, and not understand how these thoughts have been triggered by this tragedy. If this is a possibility for your child, please let their classroom teacher know. It will be helpful to know which of our students may need additional supports throughout the day and coming weeks. Our school counselor, Jason Stevenson, will be visiting each class tomorrow and offering students time to talk and share their feelings.

We suggest limiting your children’s overall exposure to this tragedy, supervising any access they have to television and the internet, including social media, and being mindful of where we are having conversations.

If you have any questions or concerns please let us know. Harwood has made available grief counselors and supports.  Please let us know if we can help provide any other resources, directly or by referral. As our community grieves, may we all be of support to one another.

Sincerely,

Duane Pierson, Principal & The Moretown School Staff

Tips for Supporting Students with Loss

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) encourages parents, teachers, child care providers and others

who work closely with children to filter information about crisis and present it in a way that their child can accommodate, adjust to and cope with.  While we are all struggling with this news, providing some filtering  of what our children are exposed to respects their developmental needs.

The following is information from the Mayo clinic about talking with children about all tragedies (Source):

Do I need to talk to my child about a tragedy?

Talking to your child about a tragedy can help him or her understand what's happened, feel safe and begin to cope. If you don't speak to your child about a tragedy, there's a chance that he or she might hear about it elsewhere.

How do I start a conversation with my child about a tragedy?

Take time to think about what you want to say. If possible, choose a time when your child is most likely to want to talk, such as before dinner. Ask your child what he or she already knows about the tragedy — and what questions or concerns he or she might have. Let your child's answers guide your discussion.

How do I explain the tragedy to my child?

Tell the truth. Focus on the basics, and avoid sharing unnecessary details. Don't exaggerate or speculate about what might happen. Avoid dwelling on the scale or scope of the tragedy.

Listen closely to your child for misinformation, misconceptions and underlying fears. Provide accurate information. Share your own thoughts and remind your child that you're there for him or her. Reassure your child that what happened isn't his or her fault.

Your child's age will affect how he or she processes information about a tragedy. Consider these tips:

• Preschool children. Get down to your child's eye level. Speak in a calm and gentle voice using words your child understands. Explain what happened and how it might affect your child. Share steps that are being taken to keep your child safe and give hugs.
• Elementary and early middle school children. Children in this age range might have more questions about whether they're truly safe. They might need help separating fantasy from reality.
• Upper middle school and high school children. Older children will want more information about the tragedy. They're more likely to have strong opinions about the causes, as well as suggestions about how to prevent future tragedies and a desire to help those affected.

Additional resources:

Talking to Children about Tragedies (American Academy of Pediatricians)

Talking to Kids about Scary News (Parenting Magazine)